The voice over actor in this ad for True North nuts must have gone through a number of takes before saying the last line without laughing. "An extraordinary nut snack." Thinking of clean, innuendo-less slogans for nuts is a toughie, but this one didn't seem to try very hard. The newest version of the ad removed the "nut" part. After the jump, listen closely in the now retired commercial. [via Gawker]
Every moment of this video is a WTF-moment. That's why it's so good.
Your day isn't complete until Johannes Brahms crashes through your wall while playing a grand piano. Why would he do such a thing? To bring you arts-enriched Raisin Brahms, "fortified with increased test scores and creative problem solving," of course. Don't be alarmed when you grow a Brahms-like beard after eating the cereal—that's just the power of the arts! Get hungry for Raisin Brahms by watching this breakfast ad spoof by America for the Arts after the jump.
If mice could talk in Internet slang.
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TGIF!
Trying to eat like Michael Phelps without doing the rigorous exercise to burn it off is not a pretty sight. But that doesn't stop people from trying. Competitive eater Crazy Legs Conti doesn't just try to eat Phelps' breakfast of three pancakes, three french toasts, three fried egg sandwiches, a bowl of grits, an omelet, and two cups of coffee without retching, but tries to do it in under five minutes. Although shirtless and clad in a swim cap and goggles, Conti doesn't look anything like Phelps, but he does eat his breakfast. And even though Conti doesn't puke, I just might.
Watch the video after the jump. I swear this is the last Michael Phelpsian Gorge-A-Thon Challenge I'll make you watch.
As a testament to the great power of man's curiosity and stupidity, people keep trying to match Michael Phelps' nauseatingly high calorie intake despite that such a diet is unfit for average human beings.
But what if they're not average? What if they're a bunch of really fat guys? A bunch of really fat guys who don't just eat the Olympian-sized meal, but follow up the gorging with a race against a collegiate swim team member? You don't really have to watch the video to know who wins, but thanks to Fat Guy Nation, you can watch the horror unfold. From the first bite of chocolate sauce-drowned waffles to the final labored pushed to the edge of the swimming pool, you'll be thinking, "Why the hell am I watching this?"
On that note, watch the video after the jump.
For the person in your life who loves eating a bite-sized piece of chocolate every hour in a controlled setting, get them the Chococlock. The clock releases a piece of chocolate once an hour. Grab the piece within its 30-second exposure to the outside world and the calories are all yours! If you miss your scheduled appointment with the chocolate, you'll have to wait another hour. Or press the cheat button that releases a piece on demand. Or just open a bag of chocolate candies. Bonus feature: the Chococlock also dispenses non-chocolate matter, like Skittles, or Advil! [via Gizmodo]
Previously: Wake N' Bacon Alarm Clock: The Best Sleep-Ending Device Ever
The first time I saw a Fanta commercial featuring the overly energetic Wanta Fanta song, I thought, "No, I don't wanta," and "Where's my gun?"
Thankfully, not all Fanta commercials give me suicidal tendencies. This series of Japanese Fanta commercials packs the excitement of atypical third grade classes—taught by rockstars, deejays, soap opera stars, and more—into 15 confusing seconds. If I were one of these students, I'd also want to kick back at the end of the day with a cool, refreshing bottle of Fanta. Alas, I don't live in Japan where special flavors like Peach, Tropical Fruits, and Sweety exist, so I probably won't. Watch the commercials after the jump. [via Superpunch]
A 6-foot-tall woman with a high-pitched warbly voice must have really blended in. [The Onion]
If this man walks into your restaurant, grab the bottomless pitcher of Pinot. Because if he doesn't leave happy, he'll tell the entire internet on you, probably that very night. Drew and Natalie Dee behind Married to the Sea teach us an important lesson in this comic, titled "No Free Refills": the food blogger can crush you on Google.
Earlier this week, we told you about a supposed $8 Blossom Bluff Nectarine on the dessert menu at San Francisco's Zuni Cafe. Ridiculous surcharge for a single piece of fruit, right? A Zuni Cafe representative chimed in to clear up the misunderstanding: It should be $4.50. "The only $8.00 item on the menu was a pot de crème." Ridiculous still, but maybe less ridiculous? We will keep you updated with other NectarineGate details as they come through the wires. [via Eater SF]
The refrigerator at Serious Eats headquarters is infamous for containing foodstuffs long forgotten or those with unknown origins. But even I was surprised to open the freezer this morning and see soda popsicles—encased in large shards of glass. Looks like someone forgot to take their chilled bottles of Fizzy Lizzy out of the freezer.
So in case you didn't know, soda bottles should not be left in the freezer. Otherwise they will explode in a grisly death and line your freezer shelves with icy soda guts.
Even while drinking tea, remind yourself that terrorism is out there. Heliotrope's Terrorist Teapot uses a black ski mask as a cozy to reveal the teapot's eyes, which can either be "intensely glaring" or "constipated." [via Neatorama]
Osteria L’Intrepido doesn't exist, but still won Wine Spectator's Award of Excellence in the August 2008 issue. As part of his research for an academic paper, Robin Goldstein duped the magazine by submitting the required fee ($250), cover letter, wine list, and menu ("a fun amalgamation of somewhat bumbling nouvelle-Italian recipes"). [via Eater]
If you constantly find yourself muttering, "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me," in the middle of the night, fight back with some of this clown-faced luncheon meat. Feel empowered as you bite into the slices of 80 percent processed pork matter. Release from the dark clutches of clown-derived fear can be yours for just 29 pence per 100 grams! [via Doobybrain.com]
As enticing as the $8 Blossom Bluff Nectarine dessert at San Francisco's Zuni Cafe may sound, be aware that all you'll get is a whole nectarine on a plate. Celeste at Chowhound describes the dish: "A plate came out, with exactly what they ordered - just a plain nectarine rolling around on the plate. ..It seems like a joke but is not." But there's a bonus—the peach comes with a steak knife! [via Eater SF]
Schlitz, with Sunshine Vitamin D, gives you the sunny source of health you need the whole year round. Beer is good for you—but Schlitz, with Sunshine Vitamin D, is extra good for you.
Now that's good marketing, not like today's ads that try to sell us sex and youthful energy. If only I had grown up in the 1930s—then I totally could have gotten my vitamin D from Schlitz Beer. [via copyranter]
Filmmaker Stefan Sargent admits that he was the wrong man to hire as the director of a TV commercial in 1984 for Alveston Kitchens, a company that sells frozen food to small restaurants. The crew got so fed up with his misguided directing—including demands to lower the camera—that they finally went ahead with this completely ridiculous take, allowing the camera to smash blithely into pies, profiteroles, and cream puffs while the British voiceover praised the company's "carefully prepared" products. Then, as Sargent good-naturedly reports, they kicked him off the set. [via Luna Pier Cook]
Album covers looked so much cooler before CDs were invented. Or weirder. BizarreRecords.com aims to document the "strange & wonderful album covers" of the world in scientific categories such as Nordic Adventure and Teen Dance Party. There's no category for food, but check out some of my favorite food-related covers after the jump:
In a series of promotional videos by UK hospitality industry job search engine Caterer.com, Little Gordon, a prepubescent—but just as foul-mouthed—version of Gordon Ramsay, embarks "on a personal mission to rid the world of rubbish food and pathetic service." And by this, he instills terror into the hearts of anyone who makes or serves him food in a subpar manner, including his mother. Watch the first and second videos (a third is still on the way) after the jump.
Do parentheses and quotes somehow cancel each other out? Seems a bit superfluous for this cake baker to go through all that punctuation trouble. Couldn't the extra icing have gone to a better cause? Like a few quote, unquote rings? (What the cake order form was probably requesting in the first place.) [via amanda0730]
Before you leave the house for any party, you do the routine check: keys, wallet, phone, mints. Now you can add hot sauce carry purse to that list. Because what if they hand you a burger and don't have bottles of tongue-burning, chili pepper-laden condiments waiting? "They ain't got no hot sauce! I told you we should have called first...C'mon woman, get in the car, we got to go!" Bernie Mac, who died Saturday morning of pneumonia, was freaking out in this SNL sketch until his lady whipped out her sweet Tabasco accessory, where each compartment is insulated and calibrated for maximum hot sauce freshness.
Bernie even had something for guys who didn't want to schlep around a girly bag. "Oh, it's still a purse, but it's for dudes." Conveniently, it just sits around your wrist plus it has that stylish Tabasco logo in the corner. Even when you're busy getting down on the dance floor, you won't even know it's there! Watch the video after the jump.
The Onion reports that local man Jeremy Browning attempted to fit a nearly empty KFC bucket into his fridge by lowering the top shelf, transferring food items to the freezer, drinking half of a two-liter bottle of Pepsi, and filling the dairy compartment with smaller food items, like half a lime and a Ziploc bag of ground beef.
Asked if there was ever a point during the reorganization of his refrigerator when he considered discarding the bucket and wrapping the remaining pieces of chicken in aluminum foil, Browning told reporters, "No."
The formula for selling mineral water to Estonians in the 1980s was so simple. Go to the desert, throw in a parched guy who crawls toward a case of mineral water as a bunch of people dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller," insert a random dog, and at the end let the guy take a victorious swig of water. Every part of this commercial is inexplicable. And that's why it's so good. Watch the video after the jump.
The Onion's "News in Brief" reports a slight dialogue change in Death Of A Salesman, intended to promote the Footlight Dinner Theater's chicken special: "He's liked, but he's not well liked. Unlike that delicious rosemary chicken with fresh green peas and mashed potatoes, which everyone loves."
Photo from brooklynkitchen on Flickr
Something about his potbelly reminds me of the similarly rotund—and jovial—Kool-Aid Man. He looks pretty pleasant. One of those types always in the mood for a good barbecue or cold beer. Just don't confuse him with the eponymous Nintendo character, a foe of Mario and Luigi often sporting a metallic mask in the Wrecking Crew game.
While in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania last week, John McCain roamed a supermarket, only to have a shelf of Mott's applesauce tumble over his feet. He was interrupted by the applesauce avalanche while trying to make sense of some mandarin oranges packaging. Watch the video after the jump.
These two munchkins don't know how lucky they have it. When their mom planted a seemingly normal cucumber seed in their Santa Clarita, California, garden, she wasn't expecting this monster to appear. Good thing the children aren't actually the size of normal zucchinis—that would be weird. This makes me wonder if my mom really loved me; my childhood lacked grossly giant vegetables.
Just because something is professionally made doesn't mean it's any better than what you could make. Or what a monkey could make. Out of garbage.
Cake Wrecks documents the worst cakes made by professional bakeries. Cakes that should have never been released into the public eye. Cakes that never should have been made in the first place. "Chuck Norris dosesn't cry..." is hardly the worst of them. What about this cake that looks like a dying, dried up lawn? Or this retina-scalding thing? Why do such monstrosities exist? I wish I knew.
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If Van Halen wasn't talkin' 'bout love in their 1978 hit song, maybe they had cheese on the brain? On this plastic container of cheese chunks found by our friend Homesick Texan at a New York market, the band's famous lyrics appear above the barcode. "I've been to the edge, and there I stood and looked down / lost a lot of friends there, baby, I got no time to mess around."
Clearly, the lyrics refer to the edge of the grocery aisle, where they lost their pals after buying feta. The song was known for being very raw; much like this "assorted" pack of uncooked cheese.
Photograph from rahims on Flickr
This chocolate bar was so close to being the chocolate bar of my Internet meme dreams; it just needs a space between the "O" and the "RLY."
If the word "ORLY" reminds you of an airport in Paris and not a snowy owl, then you are safely beyond the grasp of the Internet's attempt to destroy your brain. Not in this category: ytmnd's many ORLY chocolate homages (warning: annoying music automatically plays).. [via Neatorama]
Photograph take by Gunnar Hafdal on Flickr
I feel proud knowing that the premium fruit we export to Iceland "meets or exceeds U.S. fancy standards."
With the help of Baby's First Internet, written by Kevin Fanning and illustrated by Kean Soo, you can teach your little ones how to behave on the internet. The rhyme, "In order to increase renown / add “bacon” to most any noun," is one we're particularly familiar with. Maybe a little too familiar with. (Another one that may hit close to home for food bloggers is, "Your friends won’t like it, on the real / but you must Flickr every meal.") [via Metafilter]
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With the help of Archie McPhee, you can be known as "That Dude with the Mattress Shaped Like a Giant Piece of Toast" by buying this inflatable mattress shaped like a giant piece of toast. Pair it with some jam-colored blankets and square yellow pillows for full effect. Just make sure to treat it like a mattress and not a giant piece of toast, no matter how hungry you may be. [via Gizmodo]
No English speakers were involved in the making of the banner for this restaurant in China. I hope. As for the Chinese name, it's just "restaurant." "Translate server error" is definitely more memorable.
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Photo of the Day: Custom Cake From Wal-Mart
Photograph taken by Gwen Turner-Juarez
Look at that turtle go! His expression of happiness and determination is simultaneously cute and maniacal. That strawberry is so dead.
New for the Playstation 3 is the game Fat Princess in which two teams of players must try to save their team's princess. It may sound like it's been done before, but there's a twist here: the enemy fattens up the princess, making her more and more difficult to bring back.
The game will have single and multiplayer, support for up to 32 players (two 16 player teams), 10 maps, and one obese princess to rescue. [via Kotaku]
Mmm, pig belly meat. Drew and Natalie Dee, the folks behind the comic Married to the Sea, identify the range of goodness on a swine, noting that the rich, juicy underside is not only good, it's real good.
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| Tagged: bacon, comics, funny, pigs, pork
Dennis Culver's Vegan Zombie shirt may not be a reality yet, but you can vote at Threadless.com to help give everyone a chance to display the grain-loving pride of the vegan undead.
When I went home for July Fourth, my mom welcomed my brother and me with a delicious homemade dumpling feast. How did my mom, who probably hadn't made homemade dumplings in years, suddenly get the inspiration to whip up over 100 little meat-filled dough pouches? By watching Kung Fu Panda. Yes, a computer-animated movie about a hefty panda discovering his inner kung fu prowess drove my mom to dig into her latent memory bank of Chinese recipes.
In the most dumpling heavy scene, Po (voiced by Jack Black), whose kung fu skills are provoked by the sight of food, must battle against Master Shifu (voiced by Dustin Hoffman) to get his hands on the last dumpling. Dumplings are awesome—I can totally relate, except for the part where I'm good at kung fu. Watch the clip after the jump.
Why is Matt dancing around the world? Because gum company Stride is willing to pay for it.
Actually, Matt had already been dancing before Stride approached him with a sponsorship deal. Advertising Age features the unusual collaboration, explaining that Matt doesn't even have to wear Stride gear or chew gum in the videos—Stride just asked Matt where he wanted to go and paid his travel expenses. Since Matt started dancing for Stride, three years ago, he hasn't had to get a real job.
What's so interesting about a guy doing a "farmer's jig" in different locations (including one underwater and another in a US military airspace) around the world? It a lot more fun and inspiring to watch than you may think. The wide scope of his travels is amazing and his latest video is even better for including participation from locals in the cities he visits. Will the video make you want to chew gum? Probably not—but you may remember the Stride name better from now on. Watch Matt's latest video after the jump.
FistFam's grill gets the job done.
"I wish I could grill these hot dogs, but I only have $10 in my 'Buy a Grill' fund! Can I fulfill my grilling dreams on such a pittance?"
Indeed, you can—let FistFam show you the way with their instructions for how to build a grill for under $10. But don't expect one of those fancy schmancy grills with, like, knobs, or a built-in cover, or something. $10 will get you some concrete bricks and a medium-sized flowerpot. Add your flammable material of choice, cooling racks, tongs, and meat, and you'll be on your way to budget-friendly grilling bliss. Just don't handle the flaming pot of briquettes with paper bags like FistFam did—paper can catch fire. And so can human skin. [via Grocery Eats]
The Farm of Tomorrow, an animated short directed by famed animator Tex Avery, shares 1954's predictions of the future of farming—mostly involving strange crossbreeding pairs. Has the future delivered chickens crossbred with centipedes (for more drumsticks), cows crossbred with beavers (for built-in fly swatters), or ducks crossbred with bananas (for ease of skin peeling)? Not yet. Those geneticists better get crackin'. Watch the video after the jump.
That's no ordinary check; it's a cup-eating monster! The horror!
Actually, it's a check with a large circle cut out of it and some eyes and choice words written along its side, but just use your imagination.
My friend Ian, creator of the "Om Nom Nom Nom Check," sent me this photo knowing I would get a kick out of it. It also gives me the excuse to employ the underused "om nom nom nom" tag.
Have an out-of-this-world Fourth of July with the help of your favorite spacefaring crew of the original Star Trek series. Knock back some space beers and rock out with this catchy song about how the Enterprise celebrates the holiday: "We've got space burgers and fries all over the place / Independence Day is even more fun in space." It may not make much sense, but who cares when you have space burgers? Watch the video after the jump.
A spot on Onion Radio News: "Despite the fact that 8-year-old Joshua Remmert can't stand the sight or smell of Annie's Homegrown mac and cheese, the young boy was forced against his will by his own mother to choke down an entire plate of the organic pasta yesterday."
To promote Taco Bell's latest frozen blended drink, the Frutista Freeze, Charlie Todd of Improv Everywhere organized a performance at the grand opening of a Taco Bell in Flushing, New York, where informed customers simultaneously "froze" their actions, slurps and bites suspended in time. Customers who weren't in on the act then stared and walked carefully around their nonmoving neighbors. Watch the video after the jump.
"This isn't food related," you say? Ah, but you haven't read Gordon Mark's caption to the posable wooden model he bought at Ikea:
"He's holding something (a watermelon) and running (to a BBQ)."
Use your imagination—it's totally there.
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Nation, last Thursday, Stephen Colbert got a surprise visit from the Cookie Monster on The Colbert Report, just as he was lamenting the fact that fruit had replaced cookies as American kids' after-school snack of choice. Downright un-American, he said. Last night, on Jon Stewart's Daily Show, the two fake newsmen had a little back-and-forth about Cookie Monster's appearance. Seems the blue dude trashed Colbert's green room after getting angry about his green-room request list. After the jump, videos of Cookie Monster's original appearance and the ridiculous terms of his rider, including triple-stuffed Oreos.
In memory of the late, great comedian George Carlin, who passed away last night of a heart attack, here's a food-centric clip of his live performance at Carnegie Hall from 1980. My favorite part is his riff on tomatoes (at the 6:35 mark): "Something has gone afoul inside of a tomato. . . It doesn't look like it's finished. . . It looks like it's in the larval stage or something." Whenever I have to defend my stance of being an non-fan of raw tomatoes, I'll use this as my excuse. Watch the video after the jump.
How does Stephen Colbert show his excellence in broadcasting journalism after winning a prestigious Peabody Award? By covering the world record-breaking watermelon smashing event! And thus the act of smashing watermelons with your head reaches new heights of prestige. Watch the video after the jump.
If you frequently visit Esparks Coffee, maybe you should get a V.I.P Membership Card. Not only does the card save you 10% on your purchase, it also "Entitles You To The Best Service." Don't settle for mediocre service; you deserve the best! But only if you have the card.
For a fun activity (and preferably if you have absolutely nothing else to do), gather some of your friends and try to recite the poster's words in a way that best reflects the variety of typefaces, colors, and use of caps. Mine would go something like this:
Turn up your speaker volume and let the virtual Jello-poking fun begin: it's Jello Time! Mouse over the shiny red mass and you will be rewarded with realistic hypnotic wigglings. It's quite captivating. Almost disturbingly so.
For more food-related flash fun/strangeness from Dutch artist Rafaël Rozendaal, check out Popcorn Painting (never-ending popping corn) and Unlike the Rest (never-ending sweating watermelon).
David Friedman of the blog Ironic Sans apparently spends a little too much time at a computer (don't we know the feeling), which is where he must have come up with this great idea for a bar name. He says it would probably work well in Silicon Valley. Agreed. Ideally it'd be right down the street from your office, so you could hang out there while an especially long computer process takes place. And after a day like today for us, goodness knows we'd need it.
How do you sell wine to young 20-somethings with a zest for life? The same way you sell beer: pools, parties, and babes. ...And an endorsement from the NFL. Watch the commercial after the jump and you too may replace your beer with Cabernet Sauvignon.
They're arthropods with attitude. Be careful, or else they'll cut you with their man-made implements.
...Or you can wrestle them into a point of boiling water and feast on a delicious lobster dinner!
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I haz a doodle.
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During last night's monologue on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Jimmy Kimmel gives his thoughts about the halt in tomato use and sales due to the recent Salmonella outbreak. Don't miss the helpful PSA from the Broccoli Council at the end! Watch the clip after the jump.
Tired of wine's bullshit, webcomic artist Natalie Dee tells it how it really is: "It Pairs Well With Bad Fish Tacos and Spam." The label here also reads "Horrible Room-Temperature Rancid Grape Juice."
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PBS's animated television show WordGirl follows the adventures of superheroine WordGirl and her monkey sidekick Captain Huggy Face as they battle evil, word-challenged villains while simultaneously teaching new vocabulary to their young viewers. Two of these evil villains, the Butcher and Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy, use arsenals of food products as their weapons.
After the jump, watch select episodes of WordGirl where the Butcher shoot mountains of meat out of his hands (with battle cries including "Sausage cyclone!" and "Pot roast attack!") and Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy squirt honey mustard onto his opponents. (And if the prospect of flying pot roast and vocabulary lessons aren't intriguing enough, one of the episodes features a very, brain-meltingly cute kitten. Surely you'd want to see that.)
Photo blogger Rion Nakaya stumbled upon a unique gelato flavor while visiting Sainte-Maxime in France: Smurf, or Schtroumpf in French. I'm not sure I'd want to know what Smurf tastes like, but it's nice to know that the option exists in the form of neon blue gelato. Kind of.
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For all you people who are burdened by the convenience of dishwashers, your luck has finally come. Relive the fun and adventure of washing dishes by hand by playing Dishwasher Champion for the Wii game console! Travel to exotic, far off places while rubbing your plates to a beautiful, spotless shine. Just don't break any dishes, or else the world will explode. Watch the parody commercial, after the jump.
Sure, eating is fun, but it's just so darn time- and energy-consuming. Fortunately, The Onion News Network announces the fast food industry's latest development: wearable feedbags.
"Something that we heard over and over again was, 'I really love your food; I just wish it wasn't so much work to have to eat it,'" says a fast food executive in the video. Obviously, the only way to solve this problem is to strap your food to your head.
"Sometimes I don't feel like moving my arms, so this way you can just have it on your face, close to your mouth, so you don't have to pick anything up," says a man with sauce all over his chin.
Information on the eventual development of family-style feed troughs and drive-through feed hoses after the jump.
Seeing your favorite soccer team score a goal while drinking a frosty bottle of Coca-Cola will probably make you want to hug someone. Even if that someone is an aging rock metal musician, or a man with chainsaws-for-arms, or covered in bees. Thus is the power of sports fanaticism paired with a refreshing carbonated beverage. Watch uncomfortable hug after uncomfortable hug, after the jump.
Webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner reveals that the foodies of Angola press on with their locally grown food-eating ways, no matter what.
Is your watermelon not utilitarian enough? Give it purpose—turn it into a watermelon keg! All you have to do is fill it with spiked watermelon juice and attach a faucet to it. [via Metafilter]
"This is a book about drawing pictures of bacon for Karen. That's why it's called 'Pictures of Bacon for Karen.'" Well, that explains it.
...Actually, it does, for the most part. More specifically, Andrew's bacon-related drawings (accompanied by philosophical commentary) are the result of trying to pass the time during work meetings, which apparently double as a wellspring of creativity from which bacon doodles burst forth.
Why will you read Pictures of Bacon for Karen? Because it has the word "bacon" in it. Also, as one of Karen's co-workers explains, "it's bacon, it's droll, and its 12 pages should waste at least 3 minutes of your workday."
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No one knows better than Big Ass Piñatas that there's no better whackable receptacle for your Smarties and Tootsie Rolls than...a big ass piñata. Accept no imitations: only Big Ass Piñatas can provide you with an original, handmade, Family Guy-inspired butt-shaped pinata "!!!!MEASURING AN INCREDIBLE 3 AND HALF FEET TALL!!!!" Don't you want to capture that kind of insanely exclamatory excitement for your party? Then stop everything you're doing right now and get one for just $49.99 (plus $9.99 for shipping and handling). [via swissmiss]
Oh, if only Samuel L. Jackson-branded beer were a reality. Each sip would be an intense hit of fermented starch and Samuel L. Jackson screaming obscenities in your ear. The fun would never end!
This parody commercial from The Dave Chappelle Show spoofs an old Samuel Adams commercial. I'm unable to find it online, but Chappelle's version is probably more entertaining anyway.
Watch the commercial, after the jump.
"SMOKE TURKEY WINGS" sounded pretty good until my eyes hit "COW SOMETHING." It's a beefy surprise in every bite! [via The Triumph of Bullshit]
What would you do if you had $240 worth of pudding just sitting in a giant pile in your room? Aside from being very confused, you could do like Thomas Lennon and Michael Ian Black did on sketch-comedy show The State and give it some sweet talkin'. And rub your butt on it. Aaawwww yeeeeaaaah.
Watch the pudding lust, after the jump.
From Cooks.com comes the ultimate recipe for gourmet chefs:
WIENER WATER SOUP
1 package wieners
3 cups waterCombine wieners and water in a two-quart saucepan. Bring to a boil until wieners are cooked. Throw the wieners in the garbage. Serve soup. Serves 3.
Put this on your menu and everyone will be scrambling to get a reservation at your restaurant. [via Dancing at Gunpoint and Copyranter]
The disturbingly huge wings in this ad are probably due to someone getting too carried away with Photoshop rather than New York being a vendor for gigantic mutant chickens. But $6.99 for 10 giant chicken wings—each piece large enough to feed two people—would've been such an awesome deal. [via Photoshop Disasters and Boing Boing]
I hope this lip-synching woman is someone's grandmother so that her grandkids can see this video and go, "My grandma is awesome!" If the lip-synching isn't enough for you, there are also googly eyed-bananas and a banana-wielding teddy bear at the end to amuse you.
Watch the magic, after the jump.
